


purple

by stupideas



Category: NCT (Band), Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst?, F/M, I mean it when I say it sucks, Jisung and Yerim look good with anyone Iswtg, Laps Intended, Major Word Vomit, Unbeta-ed, friendship?, highschool, this is too dramatic trust me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2018-08-13
Packaged: 2019-06-26 21:44:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15671901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stupideas/pseuds/stupideas
Summary: yerim couldn't see purple. she didn't know the color that was theirs.(or in which yerim and jisung are soulmates, and jisung knows but yerim doesn't.)





	purple

**Author's Note:**

> now while i'm reposting this, i wonder why didn't i make the colour blue. jisung had his blue days after all. (and that's when i realize yerim's colour is purple let me weep.)

his soulmate, who went by the name kim yerim, was a senior a year above him he wasn't familiar with until last thrusday when he saved her from being almost killed. the moment yerim had looked at him, her orbs changed into a shade of purple; something jisung knew was out of ordinary.

he had heard of _the_ yeri. people described her as the girl with snow-white skin, carefree attitude, a bright smile and enchanting brown eyes. the girl he had saved had everything but the enchanting brown eyes. to jisung, the color of her eyes matched with the color of his shirt, his wrist watch, his bed sheets, his phone case, his earphones --- everything that which he had gotten for himself, because purple always managed to soothe him. purple made him feel a peace, safe, and _at home_.

that very time however, he felt like purple would destroy him.

he wanted to run away, and so he did.

 

yeri belonged to mark, just like kang seulgi belonged to lee taeyong. everyone knew about it. they made sure everyone knew. everyone included jisung. he wasn't unaware about mark and yerim, although he lived under a rock. he had to. after all, mark's friends were his own --- the group of seven that included him and mark both, but mark tended to stay away, which was why he didn't know much about mark, except that he was with yerim and was a really good person.

jisung had never had an interest in who was dating who; the information was forced down his ears during that one time when mark sat with them, since their seniors were away for a trip. yerim hadn't joined them, she was with her own group, and jisung was glad, because he'd rather not make contact with the opposite gender. he was never good at initiating or continuing a conversation with them. jisung was the type who'd gladly ignore awkwardness instead of facing it.

knowing that his soulmate was one of his friends' girlfriends was awkward.

he hoped she hadn't realized, that she didn't notice anything out of place about him which would give it off, that jisung was her soulmate, because he didn't want another confrontation. he wanted to ignore this and live in peace, just the way he was doing, but fate had something else planned for him, because on a wednesday morning yerim visited their table, looking beautiful, beside mark, who was seemed rather flustered.

jisung had to force himself to look away this time, which was a rare occurrence, and he hoped no one had noticed. especially not mark, or yerim, who seemed to be friends with everyone else but him.

donghyuck's and jaemin's arms easily looped around hers --- he couldn't trace a hint of awkwardness in that skinship --- and jeno was constantly tossing teasing remarks her way, which she returned with equally cheeky replies. on seeing her, chenle had thrown his arms around her, telling her that he'd missed seeing her around, and she gently ruffled his hair, like an elder sister would do to her younger brother. mark didn't seem to mind. he seemed to be used to everything, and the only one whom jisung could relate to was renjun, but he had a knowing grin and he too, greeted yerim with a familiarity jisung couldn't comprehend.

the six of them always stuck together. for jisung to not know one of their close friends wasn't normal.

jisung then deduced that he indeed, like donghyuck often said, lived inside a rock. even the rocks would know more than him.

'hello, jisung,' yerim told him, the corner of her eyes crinkling as her lips broke into a wide grin when she caught his gaze.

'hi,' jisung replied, waving his hand only slightly. he was sure he looked stupid, because his eyes reflected confusion, and a confused jisung always looked stupid. yerim was greeting him _normally_ , which was odd, unless she hadn't noticed.

he wished she hadn't noticed.

yerim slipped into a, what he assumed, normal conversation with donghyuck and jaemin, to which he was thankful. without realizing, he let out a sigh of relief. maybe he could pretend. she didn't know, she hadn't noticed. it was good for him.

 

but a part of him still wanted her to know. he wanted her to fall for him, because with passing time, he realized how yerim completed him, how she was everything he had been searching for, and how he couldn't imagine his life without yerim in it. although maybe they'd always be friends, a part of him still wanted more --- an surety that yerim would always be there, and maybe that's why people often said: once you find your soulmate, you wouldn't want to let her go.

 

why yerim hadn't realized was still a mystery to jisung. or maybe she did, but wasn't ready to face it because she had mark; jisung didn't know. he only knew that with each moment he spent with her, his infatuation grew, and it was slowly blossoming into something dangerous, something jisung wasn't prepared for.

jisung always had his guard up but something about yerim managed to break his walls. with what, he didn't know. why, he could only guess.

half of his questions were answered when one day renjun had challenged her to guess the favorite color of the seven of them, out of which yerim got six correct. ironically, the one she got wrong was jisung's, because that day he was fully purple. he had grown more attached to purple after he'd met yerim.

 

'black,' yerim answered, looking certain about it.

'and why?' renjun raised a brow at her, stifling his laughter when he saw jisung's expression, because jisung was so close to screaming purple. it was an obvious fact; he couldn't get why was she of all people getting it wrong.

yerim blinked, 'what why? he always has something black with him! majority of what he has is black.'

jisung stood up and left without a word.

 

later renjun came up to him and explained that yerim couldn't _see_ purple. he told him not to feel bad about her words, since she didn't _know_. she didn't know the color that was theirs.

jisung had never felt so dejected in his life.

 

he decided kim yerim and park jisung could never be together, because fate was against it. maybe it was because of jisung's horrible deeds in his past life, or something else, but he had to live with it, and erase kim yerim from his heart.

she was just a soulmate, just someone who was dating his friend.

 

'jisung, did i offend you somehow?' yerim asked him one day when the two of them met in a book shop. jisung had once again decided he'd binge reading books written about soulmates, and yerim just happened to be there to get something. unfortunately, they crossed paths.

jisung shook his head and gave her a slight, forced smile. 'no,' he said, earning a frown from yerim.

he had always been bad at pretending.

'you've been avoiding me,' she stated.

jisung pretended to be more interested in the books. he shrugged, 'been busy, i guess.'

'you're always hanging out with the others, though,' she stated again, her tone growing accusing, 'and when i come, you leave.'

'could be wrong timing?'

'it always happens.'

'fate doesn't want it maybe.'

'is it fate or is it _you_?'

'you guess.'

'we're _friends_ , jisung.'

jisung put the book he'd grabbed back to its place, and faced yerim. at this point, he wanted nothing but for her to go.

'i'm really busy now. please, let's talk about this some other time,' he requested.

yerim nodded. 'okay, okay.'

jisung inwardly sighed, relieved, but his happiness was short lived because the next moment yerim started making another conversation jisung hadn't seen coming.

 

'you read?' she asked, surprised.

jisung frowned at her question, 'why else would i be in a book store?' ignoring yerim's gaping look, he paid for his purchase and thanked the shopkeeper, proceeding to walk out after that.

yerim tagged along. 'no offence, but you don't seem like the reading type.' she replied honestly, 'i thought you were getting those for someone else. renjun, perhaps. i heard you often lend him books.'

jisung gave her a nod. 'yeah. says he wouldn't want to spend time on useless books, and our tastes match, so he borrows books from me.'

'that's like the longest sentence you ever spoke to me, you know?'

jisung stopped on his tracks and turned his head to face yerim, who was smiling from ear to ear. he was meaning to ask if it was weird, but he decided he wouldn't respond, so he answered with just a short hum.

silence followed.

'...you're not planning to stop talking to me again, right?' and yerim's voice dissolved it shortly after.

jisung shrugged. 'guess i just don't know what to say.'

from the corner of his eyes, he saw yerim nod, lips pressed into a tight smile. she just quietly walked besides him. jisung wondered if he had said something wrong, but maybe she also didn't know what else to say. he wouldn't be surprised if she said she was out of words; she had been doing majority of the talking anyways.

'jisung, what are soulmates?' yerim suddenly asked, making jisung halt again.

of all questions, of all things, why was she asking him _this_ suddenly? of all people _why_ him?

yerim stopped a few steps ahead of him and spun on her heels to face him, her lips curved downwards.

'did i---'

'purple.' jisung replied absentmindedly. yerim's brows knit together in confusion and she opened her mouth to speak, but jisung added in a 'my favorite color' quickly before she could say anything.

yerim didn't talk after that.

 

'why am i stuck with you again?' jisung asked, lazily scribbling down the numbers on the textbook.

'because your weakness is my strength,' yerim said in a matter-of-fact tone.

jisung signed. 'why not wendy-noona?'

yerim made a face at him, expressing that she was offended. jisung ignored it.

'she's busy, duh, like taeil-oppa.'

'doyoung-hyung?'

'dummy, they're in the same year.'

'oh,' jisung blinked, pausing briefly to think over it, 'i keep forgetting.'

'you keep forgetting to call me noona too,' yeri added, 'to think of it, you never called me by my name. i've never heard you say my name before...'

'sunbae, let's focus on the actual problem, shall we?' jisung half-begged, passing his notebook and pencil to yerim, hoping she'd drop the topic. thinking of yerim brought him pain --- he didn't know what would saying her name out loud would do to him. he never tried, for they said saying your soulmate's name could bring either beautiful or horrible emotions, in huge amounts.

he spared a glance at yerim.

he couldn't help but wonder what calling his name out loud did to her.

 

'jisung, jisung, jisung, jisung,' yerim kept chanting. jisung groaned, putting his phone away from his ear while yerim kept repeating his name over and over on the other side.

a minute passed.

jisung could still hear his name.

he placed the receiver back on his ear. 'can you stop? i'm getting creeped out.'

yerim did. jisung thanked the heavens.

'actually, not really,' she responded, and took in a lungful of air, before saying his name again, once, twice and---

'it's 2 a.m. in the morning.' jisung complained. 'yerim---'

yerim paused.

'---if there's anything bothering you, just say it alright? you're worrying me.'

as soon as he finished, yerim dropped the phone call.

jisung sat upright on his bed, phone still pressed against his cheek, a weird fuzzy, feeling spreading through his chest as he recalled what had just happened. he was confused, not because of yerim, but because of himself.

jisung hadn't known he was capable of expressing himself, caring for anyone that wasn't him _and_ voicing it out.

was it because he had uttered yerim's name?

jisung was known for his sarcastic remarks and bored tone. people often called him a stone because he was almost always emotionless, and the only one that he could show on rare occasions was annoyance.

jisung never used a soft tone. he couldn't even if he tried. jisung, chenle often said, wasn't born to love. his friend said it as a joke, but jisung knew there was a truth to it.

whereas yerim was that person who never lashed out at anyone, who only knew the language of friendship. yerim had that in her aura --- one couldn't help but adore her.

he wondered if uttering her name made him a little bit like her.

was she constantly saying his name to become like him? what did she gain from that?

smost importantly, did she finally realize what the two of them were supposed to be?

 

 

yerim and jisung never brought up the phone call. they didn't get the chance to, with yerim constantly running around with books and papers, preparing for exams, managing various events because yerim was a president of some club jisung had never bothered learning about. the only times they got to meet was during jisung's math tutoring classes, and at those times they were busy discussing math. yerim had promised jisung's mom that he would do well this term, and she wasn't going to disappoint anyone.

jisung hadn't taken yerim's name again, and he hadn't heard yerim take his. something between the two of them had changed. jisung couldn't say what, but it bothered it, but he never voiced it out. he could sense that it was bothering yerim too, her stiffness, the way she avoided his gaze --- jisung wasn't as oblivious as people made him out to be, especially when it came to yerim.

they kept going with the flow that is until, two weeks exactly after the phone call, yerim rang him up and cried.

jisung was sleepy when his phone rang, but he picked it up anyways, and just as he dropped a 'hello', yerim broke down.

he didn't speak after that. he felt like he shouldn't. so he allowed yerim to let it all out, all at once. he decided to wait until she had calmed down, but in the midst of it, he crashed. he only realized that the following morning, when his mom's shrill voice woke him up, telling him it was already twenty to seven. jisung couldn't believe it --- his alarm never failed him --- but when he reached out for his phone to check the time, he realized it was turned off. the battery had died.

how, he couldn't remember. he could only when he plugged in his phone, turned his phone on and checked the call log.

the two of them had been on call for over five hours. jisung maybe only remembered two of them. what happened later, he had no recollection of that.

jisung wished to recall but no matter how hard he tried, he could only recall yerim's sobs, and nothing more.

 

'yerim,' jisung breathed out as soon as yerim was in sight. she didn't hear him.

jisung stood up from his seat, chair squeaking and attracting unnecessary attention while he jogged up to the yerim who seemed out of it. jisung had never seen yerim like that, not even during _that_ accident. she seemed dazed, staring at nothing in particular, face holding no emotion, not bothering about anything around her, all in all, lost.

he was worried.

'yerim,' he said again, getting in front of her, forcefully bringing his attention to him when she almost bumped into his figure.

'oh, sorry,' she replied, stepping back a bit and blinking to adjust her vision. she didn't look up at him.

jisung called her out again, 'yerim' rolling from his tongue softly this time, concern laced in his voice. 'yerim,' he tried again, grabbing her shoulders and shaking her lightly, 'please, don't be like this. _speak._ '

park jisung never begged. in the sixteen years of his life, he never had, but there he was, almost on his knees to hear her voice again, for her to open up and be okay.

'yerim, please,' he swallowed a bit, 'i... i'm here. please, say something.'

yerim finally looked up to meet his gaze, eyes glossy and lips quivering. jisung had never seen her like that. needless to say, he was taken aback, but he remained still, gaze not leaving her. he squeezed her shoulders lightly, to assure her, and stayed. unmoving, patient, and somewhere, desperate.

'jisung,' yerim spoke and jisung let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding. 'jisung,' yerim repeated herself again.

jisung nodded slowly, gesturing her to go on. he could sense many pairs of eyes on them, but he didn't care. he wanted yerim to be freed from whatever she was carrying along with her. he wanted nothing more than that.

'jisung, _what are soulmates_?'

again, jisung answered 'purple', but this time without hesitation, and yerim broke down in his arms.

 

jisung later learned that yerim and mark had broken up. moments after that, he had jaemin assuring him that it wasn't his fault, but it was just a phase yeri and mark were growing through. jisung hadn't been able to understand at first, but he pieced everything together.

mark and yerim had broken up. the school's second _strongest_ couple had broken up, and jisung could've been the reason. jisung was the reason the public was unknown to. he should've seen it coming, especially with how yerim was slowly getting attached to him.

maybe that was why yerim couldn't open up completely about their break up to jisung, although yerim had grown a habit to tell jisung almost everything that went in her life.

jisung had no idea how to digest the fact. he had no idea how to solve this problem.

truthfully, jisung didn't want to. somewhere, he had always hoped yerim and mark would break up, because he was that selfish, but seeing how their breakup had taken a toll on yerim, he wanted them to be as they were before --- happy and in love.

he didn't care if yerim was his soulmate, he didn't care if he would get hurt in the process. jisung had heard of stories when one would not end up with their soulmate, also of stories where one didn't meet their soulmates, and all of this, him giving up on yerim was completely fine. he was her soulmate, the one who was supposed to complete her, be it in any way, her best friend, the one who was supposed to bring her happiness.

he would do what he was supposed to do. he would give kim yerim back his happiness, but how, he didn't know.

for the rest of day, jisung kept thinking and rethinking of ways. he wondered if he should tell mark about him and yerim, but he decided against it; mark was a great person, and he wouldn't think twice before sacrificing himself for the two of them.

he wondered if he should tell yerim about the two of them, but he went against it too, at the end because yerim was the kind who would force feelings for him, because they were meant to be, although she had mark in her heart. yerim had already decided that mark didn't want her, and if she knew all of _that_ , then she would devote herself to jisung --- something jisung didn't want unless she returned his feelings.

he didn't want to get in between mark and yerim, be the reason why they drift further apart.

he didn't want to be the evil guy.

he needed help from someone.

jisung approached renjun for help, and regretted it because renjun was there, with yerim, who was firing questions at him. renjun looked uncomfortable. jisung could understand why.

jisung had planned on walking away from the spot, but renjun had to tell yerim to ask jisung now that he was there, and she did.

before jisung could leave, yerim stopped him, calling out his name and asking what jisung didn't want her to, because it was something he couldn't tell her. something he shouldn't tell her, at least not at that time.

she asked him what purple was, and jisung only stood there without a proper answer.

he couldn't bring himself to say it was _their_ color, the color of her eyes, the color that meant everything to him.

renjun looked at him guiltily. jisung understood. he couldn't keep running away from his fate forever.

 

'purple is the color of your eyes, yerim, my favorite,' jisung told her when the silence and unanswered questions between the two of them was suffocating him. the two of them were only a few meters away from yerim's house. they had tolerated the thick, uneasy air for almost half an hour; jisung had decided enough was enough.

'people often compliment your brown eyes, but i don't, because for me what i see is purple. our color,' he added, gazing up at the sky still the refreshing shade of blue. soon, that would change, and jisung would get to meet her again --- catch of glimpse of her though she wasn't with him.

'i don't get it,' yerim admitted.

jisung exhaled. 'let's stop here for a while,' he told yerim, remaining still on his spot. yerim stopped beside him.

he faced her, and took her hands in his, interlacing their fingers as he fixed his gaze on the familiar purple orbs he'd grown fond of, but had always avoided. yerim's breath got caught stuck on her throat, and so did his. she might have been nervous, but he was mesmerized. he was falling for the sight in front of him again.

'yerim,' he whispered, 'yerim, say my name.'

she stepped back, probably surprised because of his request. it was an odd one, especially since it was coming from him, and she couldn't figure out how to react.

she only breathed heavily --- the sound of her breathing filled the space between them.

' _yerim_ ,'

'jisung.' she weakly uttered. 'jisung,' she squeezed his hands, ' _jisung_.'

her eyes were shining with unshed tears but jisung had a smile etched on his face.

her breathing quickened; she was shaking. jisung pulled her into a tight embrace. again, she broke down in his arm.

 

'purple is beautiful,' yerim said, looking up at the lilac sky, and smiled to herself. jisung hummed from the swing beside hers. the two of them had stopped by the playground, and were seated on either of the swings, watching as the sky changed its color.

previously, they had talked about _it_. soulmates. jisung had explained to her about how he felt --- not entirely, but most of it, the reason why he rarely took her name or looked at her, and after a bit of pestering, he also told her what did her name to do him. she had laughed at it, and had started mimicking the way jisung had sounded at the morning. she only stopped when jisung told her he'd block her from his life.

yerim also told to jisung about how she felt. she told him she always felt at ease with him, and was a bit annoyed when he was blatantly ignoring her. she also opened up about mark, which jisung listened to with extra attention, and that one time she had phoned him and chanted her name. jisung felt oddly proud when she told him she felt braver because of his name, but he also couldn't help but shake his head at how oblivious she could be.

maybe telling her about them wasn't a bad thing.

'jisung,' jisung broke from his trance and shifted his focus at her. she was still staring up at the sky. 'am i supposed to love-love you?'

jisung hadn't expected her to ask _that_ , but he wasn't surprised given yerim's curious nature and her need to do everything correctly.

he shrugged, 'i don't know... i don't think you have to.' he jumped off the swing. yerim gave him a questioning look.

'to love is a choice. you don't have to love me, and i don't have to stop loving you.

'just, allow me to be one of your strengths.'

 


End file.
